I Used To Think...

Christy grew up homeschooled and was part of a cult for a large part of her childhood. The cult, founded by Bill Gothard, is known as the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP). Gothard stepped down as leader when multiple sexual abuse allegations were made against him. The teachings and culture of the cult deeply influenced the way Christy saw her faith, the world, and her own identity.
In this episode, Christy shares how negative and uncomfortable emotions are weaponized within a cult. She explains how cults use power and control to prevent suspicion within the community. She discusses how strict standards are placed on women in particular and how freeing it felt to finally allowed herself to express her true personality after leaving IBLP.
We discuss the practice of "spiritual bypassing" and how damaging it is to suppress our emotions with religious platitudes. Christy also gives advice on how to interact with a friend who is in a cult or is spiritually bypassing.
Topics We Cover:
Volunteering with baby goats
Why uncomfortable emotions are not sins
History of Bill Gothard, IBLP, and Advanced Training Institute (ATI)
How cults use fear to control people
Treatment of women within cults
Finding your voice
Spiritual bypassing
Permission to feel and express emotions
How to love someone who is trapped in a cult
Doubt is not a sin
Guest Links:
Christy's Substack: https://substack.com/@christylynnewood
 
Christy's book detailing her journey out of the cult: https://christylynnewood.com/religious-rebels-book/
References:
A Matter of Basic Principles: Bill Gothard and His Cultish Teachings
A book by Don Veinot exploring IBLP and its cultish characteristics
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Follow this podcast on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast 
Pat's Email: patricktlee7@gmail.com  
Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast
 
 

In 2012, Jerry joined the video game company Riot Games as their Chief HR Officer. During his time there, the company grew tremendously, and so did the video game industry as a whole. Jerry observed as video game companies went from creating fun products to addicting products. He saw the ways in which games evolved from being enjoyable pastimes into monetization machines.
After witnessing the effects of technology on society and mental health, Jerry decided to become a licensed therapist to make a meaningful impact on his community. Jerry warns against ignorance over the potential of AI and how to properly engage with AI. We discuss the somber reality of companies choosing profits over ethical practices and how we can counteract those negative affects through simple community gatherings - maybe even a game of Dungeons & Dragons.
 
Topics we cover:
Evolution of the video game industry
Profit vs. Ethics
Social media and technology bans in China and Australia
Becoming a licensed mental health counselor
Board games and roleplaying games
Technology free spaces
Using AI wisely
Guest Links:
Jerry's Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/ProchazkaPontificates/
 
Jerry's AI consulting services for small businesses: Strategy & The Machine
References:
Jonathan Haidt's book The Anxious Generation (a book about technology and its affects on Gen Z's mental health)
Tristan Harris' nonprofit: Center for Humane Technology
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Follow this podcast on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast
Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast
 

Memphis, Tennessee is often considered the focal point for Christian Nationalism and conservative evangelicalism. My guest, Mark Hackett, grew up in this environment and refers to it as "white American evangelicalism." In our conversation, we discuss the characteristics of this type of Christianity and how it is unique to the South.
According to Mark, the moralism, patriarchy, and strict authoritarian structures found in white American evangelicalism are not aligned with the Gospel and true Christianity. Mark shares candidly about how him and his family painfully left their church due to corruption and toxic political discourse.
Mark shares how authentic Christianity is less about the afterlife and more about following the pattern that Jesus presents for how we live our lives and interact with others.
Sign up for Mark's newsletter: https://www.markhackett.com/newsletter
Check out Mark's website: https://www.markhackett.com/about-me
Mark's Article about his story: https://www.markhackett.com/writings/escaping-white-american-evangelicalism
References:
Jesus and John Wayne by Kristin Du Mez
The Flag and the Cross by Philip Gorski
Things we discuss:
Church culture in the South compared to California
Tolkien
What is Christian Nationalism?
Individualism in the church
The effects of Trumpism in Southern churches
Church abuse and corruption
Searching for a new church
What is true Christianity? What is the Gospel?
Why Mark shares his story via blogging and podcasting
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Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast
Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast
 

Pat talks about why he started the podcast, the importance of storytelling, deconstructing Christian fundamentalist faith, and what people should know about Gen-Z.
Learn more about the Weave project: https://weavers.org/
Join the Weaving Us community: https://weaving.us/
We discuss:
Growing up fundamentalist Christian
Faithful storytelling
Being quick to learn and not to judge
What others should know about Gen-Z
Gen-Z's cultural and economic context
Contact Pat: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM
New Substack for the podcast! https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57
Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast
Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast

After diligently raising her children in the church and conservative Christianity, Regan was shocked when her son Jonas confessed to not believing in the existence of God. Regan discusses how she saw proper Christian parenting as a step-by-step process that guaranteed the perseverance of her children's faith. The shift in her son's faith made it difficult for Regan to watch other Christian parents send their kids off on missions trips or marry their kids to other young Christians.
We discuss Regan's journey leaving an abusive church, trusting a new community, and the developmental appropriateness of questioning belief during adolescence. She highlights the importance of retaining a loving and supportive relationship with her children, irrespective of their religious beliefs. Regan shares honestly about how her own faith has been challenged and refined as she navigates these realities. 
Topics we discuss:
- Parenting
- Conservative Christianity
- Homeschooling
- Atheism
- Views on hell
- Eastern Orthodoxy
- Spiritual and church abuse
- Child development
- Leaving room for mystery in faith
- Importance of safe community
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Contact Pat: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM
New Substack for the podcast! https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57
Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast
Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast

When Marianne was 21 years old, she started dating, Tony, the man of her dreams. Initially smitten and deeply infatuated, she thought of him constantly. Then nine months into the relationship, these feelings began to fade and Marianne experienced intense emotional turmoil, leading her to question the nature of love and her connection with Tony. It affected her so deeply that she couldn't eat or sleep. 
Marianne talks about how society has idolized romantic love and elevated it to a godlike status, expecting it to fulfill our every need. Doubt is not presented as a normal part of relationships but rather a sign that something is wrong. Through resources like Cheryl Paul's work on relationship anxiety, Marianne discovered that love is more about action and commitment rather than just feelings. She learned that love is a choice to commit to someone even when it's difficult.
Marianne's podcast about fantasy books: https://open.spotify.com/show/2AmfNU6P3iINRmE2x3uAgS?si=MNhfRqfkS8eEotCh4B4F8Q
Marianne's newly published children's book about children of immigrant parents: https://www.amazon.com/Came-Here-You-Marianne-Boules/dp/1662953585
 
Topics we discuss:
- Relationship anxiety
- Infatuation stage of a relationship
- Romantic love versus real love
- Love as a choice
- Elizabeth Gilbert's book "Eat, Pray, Love"
- Hozier's song "Take Me to Church"
- Romantic love as a deity in culture
- Doubt as a normal part of relationships
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New Substack for the podcast! https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57
Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast
Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast
 

I created a new Substack for the podcast! It was time to revive my 2008 blogging skills. My first article is about my own "I Used to Think..." journey. Check it out here: https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57
Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast
Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast
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Guy assumed there would be a day where he finally felt complete as a person. Looking back, he realized that instead, life is a journey of moments of completion. I talk with Guy about the concepts of growth, maturity, and the journey towards personal completion. We explore metaphors like lighthouses and skyscrapers to illustrate the differences between internal transformation and external appearances. We talk about our childhood perceptions of adulthood and evolving understandings of what it means to be complete. Guy shares the importance of recognizing life milestones of "completion" such as becoming a parent for the first time. We also delve into the importance of self-awareness and the invaluable role of mentors and spiritual guidance in navigating the ongoing journey of personal growth.
Contact Pat:
DM me on Instagram! @iusedtothinkpodcast
Email: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM

Chris started his first business when he was 19 years old. He worked hard at sustaining the business but lacked the experience and community he needed. By the time he was 21 years old, Chris had two failed business attempts under his belt. He tried going to college but realized it was not for him. Life felt bleak for Chris. In this episode, Chris walks us through his career journey, from dropping out of college to starting his own business - for the third time. Chris learned the value of working various jobs, even those he felt miserable in. He gained confidence as he received job offers despite not having a college degree. He also found a creative outlet through music production with his friend Keith. Chris talks about the importance of having the right network of people around him who can encourage him and keep him humble. He talks about his wife, Jen, and how meaningful her support has been for him as an entrepreneur.
Topics We Discuss:
Whether college is for everyone
Entrepreneurship
Overcoming failure
Being passionate about what you are working on
Assessing risk
Learning from criticism
Music production
Creativity
Board games
Having a supportive spouse/partner
Surrounding yourself with good people
Southern California traffic
Chris' LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/itschrisnguyen
AfterGate Studios: Instagram @aftergatestudios
Transcript for this episode: https://share.descript.com/view/VRWR2x73Ay8
Contact Pat:
DM me on Instagram! @iusedtothinkpodcast
Email: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM