I Used To Think...

22 | Leaving White American Evangelicalism, Christian Nationalism, Church in the South

Memphis, Tennessee is often considered the focal point for Christian Nationalism and conservative evangelicalism. My guest, Mark Hackett, grew up in this environment and refers to it as "white American evangelicalism." In our conversation, we discuss the characteristics of this type of Christianity and how it is unique to the South.
According to Mark, the moralism, patriarchy, and strict authoritarian structures found in white American evangelicalism are not aligned with the Gospel and true Christianity. Mark shares candidly about how him and his family painfully left their church due to corruption and toxic political discourse.
Mark shares how authentic Christianity is less about the afterlife and more about following the pattern that Jesus presents for how we live our lives and interact with others.
Sign up for Mark's newsletter: https://www.markhackett.com/newsletter
Check out Mark's website: https://www.markhackett.com/about-me
Mark's Article about his story: https://www.markhackett.com/writings/escaping-white-american-evangelicalism
References:
Jesus and John Wayne by Kristin Du Mez
The Flag and the Cross by Philip Gorski
Things we discuss:
Church culture in the South compared to California
Tolkien
What is Christian Nationalism?
Individualism in the church
The effects of Trumpism in Southern churches
Church abuse and corruption
Searching for a new church
What is true Christianity? What is the Gospel?
Why Mark shares his story via blogging and podcasting
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Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast
Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast
 

Special Episode: Faith & Mental Health, Podcasting, What to Know About Gen-Z

Pat talks about why he started the podcast, the importance of storytelling, deconstructing Christian fundamentalist faith, and what people should know about Gen-Z.
Learn more about the Weave project: https://weavers.org/
Join the Weaving Us community: https://weaving.us/
We discuss:
Growing up fundamentalist Christian
Faithful storytelling
Being quick to learn and not to judge
What others should know about Gen-Z
Gen-Z's cultural and economic context
Contact Pat: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM
New Substack for the podcast! https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57
Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast
Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast

21 | When Your Child Doesn't Believe in God Anymore, Parenting, Views on Hell

After diligently raising her children in the church and conservative Christianity, Regan was shocked when her son Jonas confessed to not believing in the existence of God. Regan discusses how she saw proper Christian parenting as a step-by-step process that guaranteed the perseverance of her children's faith. The shift in her son's faith made it difficult for Regan to watch other Christian parents send their kids off on missions trips or marry their kids to other young Christians.
We discuss Regan's journey leaving an abusive church, trusting a new community, and the developmental appropriateness of questioning belief during adolescence. She highlights the importance of retaining a loving and supportive relationship with her children, irrespective of their religious beliefs. Regan shares honestly about how her own faith has been challenged and refined as she navigates these realities. 
Topics we discuss:
- Parenting
- Conservative Christianity
- Homeschooling
- Atheism
- Views on hell
- Eastern Orthodoxy
- Spiritual and church abuse
- Child development
- Leaving room for mystery in faith
- Importance of safe community
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Contact Pat: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM
New Substack for the podcast! https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57
Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast
Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast

20 | Romantic Love vs. Real Love, Relationship Anxiety, and the Stage After Infatuation

When Marianne was 21 years old, she started dating, Tony, the man of her dreams. Initially smitten and deeply infatuated, she thought of him constantly. Then nine months into the relationship, these feelings began to fade and Marianne experienced intense emotional turmoil, leading her to question the nature of love and her connection with Tony. It affected her so deeply that she couldn't eat or sleep. 
Marianne talks about how society has idolized romantic love and elevated it to a godlike status, expecting it to fulfill our every need. Doubt is not presented as a normal part of relationships but rather a sign that something is wrong. Through resources like Cheryl Paul's work on relationship anxiety, Marianne discovered that love is more about action and commitment rather than just feelings. She learned that love is a choice to commit to someone even when it's difficult.
Marianne's podcast about fantasy books: https://open.spotify.com/show/2AmfNU6P3iINRmE2x3uAgS?si=MNhfRqfkS8eEotCh4B4F8Q
Marianne's newly published children's book about children of immigrant parents: https://www.amazon.com/Came-Here-You-Marianne-Boules/dp/1662953585
 
Topics we discuss:
- Relationship anxiety
- Infatuation stage of a relationship
- Romantic love versus real love
- Love as a choice
- Elizabeth Gilbert's book "Eat, Pray, Love"
- Hozier's song "Take Me to Church"
- Romantic love as a deity in culture
- Doubt as a normal part of relationships
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New Substack for the podcast! https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57
Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast
Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast
 

19 | Myths of Adulthood, Becoming a "Complete" Person, and Holding Life Loosely

I created a new Substack for the podcast! It was time to revive my 2008 blogging skills. My first article is about my own "I Used to Think..." journey. Check it out here: https://iusedtothink.substack.com/p/what-i-used-to-think-recovering-from?r=ljh57
Follow on Instagram: @iusedtothinkpodcast
Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@iusedtothinkpodcast
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Guy assumed there would be a day where he finally felt complete as a person. Looking back, he realized that instead, life is a journey of moments of completion. I talk with Guy about the concepts of growth, maturity, and the journey towards personal completion. We explore metaphors like lighthouses and skyscrapers to illustrate the differences between internal transformation and external appearances. We talk about our childhood perceptions of adulthood and evolving understandings of what it means to be complete. Guy shares the importance of recognizing life milestones of "completion" such as becoming a parent for the first time. We also delve into the importance of self-awareness and the invaluable role of mentors and spiritual guidance in navigating the ongoing journey of personal growth.
Contact Pat:
DM me on Instagram! @iusedtothinkpodcast
Email: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM

18 | Entrepreneurship, Dropping Out Of College, and Learning from Failure

Chris started his first business when he was 19 years old. He worked hard at sustaining the business but lacked the experience and community he needed. By the time he was 21 years old, Chris had two failed business attempts under his belt. He tried going to college but realized it was not for him. Life felt bleak for Chris. In this episode, Chris walks us through his career journey, from dropping out of college to starting his own business - for the third time. Chris learned the value of working various jobs, even those he felt miserable in. He gained confidence as he received job offers despite not having a college degree. He also found a creative outlet through music production with his friend Keith. Chris talks about the importance of having the right network of people around him who can encourage him and keep him humble. He talks about his wife, Jen, and how meaningful her support has been for him as an entrepreneur.
Topics We Discuss:
Whether college is for everyone
Entrepreneurship
Overcoming failure
Being passionate about what you are working on
Assessing risk
Learning from criticism
Music production
Creativity
Board games
Having a supportive spouse/partner
Surrounding yourself with good people
Southern California traffic
Chris' LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/itschrisnguyen
AfterGate Studios: Instagram @aftergatestudios
Transcript for this episode: https://share.descript.com/view/VRWR2x73Ay8
Contact Pat:
DM me on Instagram! @iusedtothinkpodcast
Email: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM

17 | How Keith Escaped the Friend Zone: Confidence and Authenticity in Dating

When it came to the dating scene in high school, Keith was the "nice" guy - he would develop a friendship with a girl but never make a move. His fear of rejection and overall lack of social awareness led to heartbreak as he watched his seven year long crush slip away and eventually date another person. Out of desperation, Keith went on the Internet and looked up: "how to get out of the friend zone". He stumbled across an online community of pick-up artists, who offered advice on how to appear attractive to women - some of it unhelpful, and some of it helpful. He began to try different techniques, doing his best to implement them in a way that was authentic and fit his personality.
Keith talks about having freedom of outcome and not being needy in a relationship. He breaks down what is means to be a man of your purpose, being a man of freedom, and being grounded. He talks about giving value in a relationship by making sure your own "cup" is full before you try to connect with someone. He even gives proven tips on how to create a more effective online dating profile.
Topics We Discuss:
Dating in high school and college
Getting out of the friendzone
Online pick-up artist communities
Being authentic
"Pinging"
Dating culture today
Freedom of outcome
Being a man of purpose
Being grounded
Being a man of freedom
Not being needy
Building your own kingdom
How to create an attractive online dating profile
Contact Pat: PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM
DM me on Instagram! @iusedtothinkpodcast
 

🇯🇵 Special Episode: Rickey Visits Japan for the First Time

Our friend Rickey takes a life changing trip to Japan. We ask him about his expectations beforehand and document his reactions throughout the trip.
Topics we discuss:
- What is best convenience store in Japan?
- What is your impression of the Japanese people?
- Best food in Japan
- The amazing toilets in Japan
- Animal cafe experience
- Japanese marketing and advertisements
- Difference between Japanese and American fashion
 
Reach out to Pat:
PATRICKTLEE7@GMAIL.COM